


nanking

by loni_meow



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Almost Kiss, Blood and Injury, Crying, Drama & Romance, Drinking & Talking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fall of the Berlin Wall, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape of Nanking, Reunions, Scars, World War II, scar kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 04:45:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20465228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loni_meow/pseuds/loni_meow
Summary: He had heard it from Hitler.And he knew he should have stayed there, he knew his country needed him, but could he really just let China down in a time like this?Germany knew that he couldn't.And that's how he found himself in Nanking.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER:
> 
> First, I don't write accents. 
> 
> The parts in here that should be German are written cursive but in English so everyone understands. If it's already, like, a memory/flashback and written in cursive because of that, the German parts are gonna be written in just this normal font. 
> 
> Also the whole Fanfiction is about the Rape of Nanking (and a bit about ww2 and stuff after that), a really brutal event in history.  
All my knowledge is based on the book that basically includes the diaries of John Rabe, who wrote, well, a diary while the Rape of Nanking was happening since he lived through it himself. 
> 
> On top of that, I'm gonna have a shipping in here that's very rare to non-existent in the Hetalia fandom. Please give it a try nevertheless. I'm gonna put a lot of effort into this.

"We can't help them now. We have our own business, also we have an alliance with Japan now. How will it seem if we now start to defend China?"  
_Germany stared at Hitler, raising an eyebrow. He had just come in to this meeting, and there was an uncomfortable atmosphere in the room._  
"Against what does China need to be defended?"_ the blonde asked and sat down on a free chair to stare his country's leader into the eyes._

"The Japanese and the Chinese are at war. And the Japanese seem to show little mercy with them. This got reported to us from Nanking. It's pretty sure that the soldiers are going to attack Nanking soon. They think we should help the Chinese because they're in danger."  
"Well, shouldn't we? They've been our trading partners for years, and we're on pretty good terms with-"

_Hitler stood up, staring at the country personification with pure anger and frustration in his eyes._  
"We will not spend any soldier on the protection of the Chinese people in Nanking. They have their own. I wish you a good day."  
_And with that, he got out of the room and shut the door loudly._

_Germany sat in his chair and gulped._  
_That really didn't sound good. And wasn't Nanking, like, the capital of China? So that would pretty much mean..._

_..._China himself should be there too.

Well, Germany had been looking for him, now that he had gotten there, but there was no single evidence of him being here at all.

Actually, he saw some places where bombs must have exploded. Buildings burned and those that had been burning for some time already, started collapsing by then.

Germany gulped and looked around another time, as he surprisingly catched a person walking towards him in his sight.  
He looked closely and suddenly realization dawned on him: He hadn't seen him in a while, but he apparently still lived here.  
"Rabe!" the German greeted with a little smile on his face, at least the smile he was able to put on his lips despite his huge amount of worry.  
"Ludwig! _It's good to see you! Even though you could have selected a better time to come here."_

Yeah, John Rabe was a good man. He was as good in business as Germany himself was in fights. And since he hadn't been in the country since something around 1930, if he remembered it correct, he was just glad to see that he was still doing fine here in Nanking.  
But this time really wasn't appropriate for long, friendly talks.

"_Did you see China by any chance? I mean the personification?" _Germany asked directly and let his actual worry show through for a little moment, what was why Rabe sighed.  
"_I don't know. He could be in the crowd of the Chinese that is currently coming into our safety zone. I hope he is, he seemed like a good lad, those times I met him." _

Even if Germany couldn't be sure if China was there or not with this answer, the answer itself alarmed the blonde man.  
_"Safety zone?" _  
_"Yes. For the people. Oh - I could really use your help with a thing - now that you're here! Could you help us with bringing the food into the zone? I'm slowly getting old and I can't carry so much of it. On top of that, the people expect me to be there with them, so I shouldn't spend too much time away from them."_

Germany had to laugh about the last remark, but then quickly said yes to the question, wondering about the rest of his statement.  
"_The situation is so bad that you built up a safety zone for them?"_ he asked, watching Rabe as he looked around an then proceeded to walk forwards, making the other German follow him close up.

_"Yes, we have an organization with 16 people that aren't native Chinese but live here and we all built it up together... I'm pretty much their leader. The situation looks really bad. We've just been trying to fit everyone into the zone, but we don't have that much space. I'm glad that we have one at all, though, so I'm not complaining. And the people aren't mad about it, either. I just need to get some food in, like I said, before the Japanese attack you know? And then I'll stay at my house. I'm hiding some of Nanking's people around my house. The plan is, that the giant Nazi flag that I put up, leads the Japanese into leaving us alone. Still, I'll have to watch over the people there, if the soldiers themselves, not the bombers, don't really listen to it. The bombers stay away so far."_  
Now having this little overview of the current situation in Nanking, Germany really felt like he needed to do something for the people, especially now that he was there anyways.

_"Thanks for the facts. I could guard the safety zone when you're not there, though. I really want to help you,"_ Germany then answered out loud, pulling his giant gun from behind to show Rabe what he could protect the Chinese with.  
But within just a little second, he turned down the offer with a shaking of his head.  
_"No guns in the safety zone. No soldiers either. I can't let you do that, it would put them in danger since I promised that it's only for the civilization of Nanking, not for soldiers."_

Germany frowned deeply, standing still for just a moment, a thing Rabe then followed him to do.  
_"I could still guard the outlines of it. I won't be in the zone and even if they kill me, ignoring or just not knowing that I am the literal human personification of Germany, I'd come back to life," _he offered next, a second try to put something off his strength into this good purpose. Something was really telling him that bad things were about to happen for him and his people, so he felt like helping out the people here would maybe do at least... something. Also, he still had to find China. Hopefully he was in the zone-

One moment.  
_"China's a soldier. He fights with his people. He won't be in the zone,"_ Germany said more to himself than anything else, but as he was basically just next to John Rabe, now walking again, and also doing that faster this time, he could easily hear what Germany mumbled.  
_"He's the personification of the country. They will make an exception for him if he comes back." _

_If he comes back, _Germany repeated. China would come back, he's a country; but he most likely wouldn't come back before being slaughtered at least once in the battle.

_..._

After the food was brought in, the whole lot they had at least, Germany searched for China in the crowd that was hidden in the zone. Of course the thought from before made a lot of sense, but he still wanted to watch for him to be just completely sure that he wasn't there.  
And it was like a knife to his heart; China really wasn't here. He was definitely out there, fighting.

Sighing devastated, Germany backed off to one of the ends of the zone and positioned himself, talking to Rabe shortly, before he waited.

If he waited for an attack or for China to come back and was in need or able to be of help, he didn't know.

...

It was horrible.  
Defending the zone against Japanese soldiers who said that there were Chinese soldiers that fled into it wasn't the worst part by miles. The fires, the screams of soldiers and sometimes of the people on other corners of the zone where they had to suffer a hit, the women that screamed for their life, probably; that all was worse than just standing there and defending that one spot. But Germany held his position, and he sentenced himself to protect those in the zone and to not leave until China would be back to help.

With every moment, the situation seemed to get worse. More bloodshed with every minute they defended this area, while Rabe was still running around, trying to save civilians out of their houses or other places they had been hiding in.

Germany felt bad for the people, and he tried to calm himself down, but his heart beat fast and he heated up in all the nervousness and tension that was overflowing his body. His eyes darted around, and he searched for possible danger, before he looked for something else.  
_China, where are you, damn it._

He asked the soldiers coming by, screaming the question towards them, the soldiers that were surviving at least, while not letting them come in. No matter how much he wanted, they had that rule to not let any of the Chinese soldiers in.  
He asked them where China was, and most of them said that they lost him on the way back to Nanking, or even already in the first moments of the battle against the Japanese, some claimed that he didn't even make it into coming back because they took him away pretty quickly while he was trying to protect his people, but one of them, one said a sentence that Germany wouldn't forget.

"I saw him on the floor, lying in a puddle of his own blood, trying to get up. He was alive, but I don't know if he bled to death, the stab wound looked pretty deadly."  
And that soldier then proceeded to ask for protection, and as Germany had to deny, he ran away again.

_The stab wound looked pretty deadly?, _Germany wondered startled, looking around for him, after all.

...

After the first storm calmed down, what meant that slowly all the soldiers were wiped out bit by bit, the destruction still went on, and it was still chaotic and brutal and made Germany sick, who didn't sleep for the whole time, but it was just a little less chaotic.  
And in that one quiet moment, that made everyone take a brief moment to breathe in and out deeply, _he_ was there.


	2. Help and Recovery

His arms gripping his shoulders, covering a lot of his torso, while he walked crouchingly and his loosened hair covered parts of his face, he stepped closer to the zone, but he wasn't looking up. He was just shivering or sobbing, and bleeding a lot; seriously, there was blood on his hands, his shoulders as a result, his stomach, even in his hair, or dripping down from his back to the floor, leaving a trace of blood down there, just where already enough corpses were.

"China?" Germany said out loud, and as if he could have heard him from that distance, the hurt person lifted his head, and the shock in his eyes, the heartbreak, the disgust and the pain, all of it broke Germany's heart itself. He was completely sure that it was China now, and as he noticed the blood in the ends of the nation's mouth, the tears in his eyes, he dropped his gun and ran off to China, who only then noticed him back.

"G-Germany? W-Why are y-you-" he started to say, or tried, but it was only a quiet, faint whisper that Germany could hear because he was so close.  
"I-I'm i-in so much p-pain, b-but I don't know if I... can come b-back if I d-die now" he muttered and reached out to the taller nation, the tears falling from his face now as he relaxed just a little.  
"I'll take you into the zone and care about you, don't worry now," Germany muttered back and wiped the blood from the corners of China's mouth before using his hands to pick the blood-soaked and trembling body up, immediately seeing how the now carried nation was closing his eyes, drifting off.

"I trust you," China just whispered before leaning into Germany's arms, just before loosing consciousness for real. For a short moment Germany got worried that he might just died in his arms, but he literally felt him breathing against his body, so he was alive.

The blonde nation felt his hand get soaked with blood too, it all running down from a huge wound that almost went over his whole back. He was probably just alive because he was a country.

Germany was hurrying up, telling someone else to take his place in watching the zone, going inside with the badly wounded China.  
"The hospital is full with people that need treatment but we can bring him in if you help taking care" someone said, sounding stressed and completely done, and Germany just agreed, not paying attention to who was talking anymore, he just wanted to make China wake up again.  
Because after what was happening right now, he was actually scared that China would die for real after this, too.

...

He had been getting cleaned up enough to go through with their jobs, and they really tried to treat the wound as well as they could, leaving him on a hospital bed, his hair tied up in a ponytail to prevent it from being in the way, his face still pale and a little dirty, since that was Germany's job now. He gently cleaned China's face and wondered if he had ever seen the nation look so peaceful and so relaxed, free from the stress around.

Germany placed a hand on China's cheek, making sure that he would feel it's warmth, then he placed his head down on the place where his heart was, still beating. And something about that made Germany stay there, being calmed down by the heart beat and the little movements of his breathing, sometimes even little coughs as he probably tried to wake up by himself. It was the detail, the little calming thing, that was reassuring him that China was still alive.

He cleaned up the rest that wasn't completely clean before and pulled the blanket further up to have China safe and warm in his sleep.  
He still heard the drama outside, but here with the other nation, it was just peace, peace and quiet. He had actually always felt that way with China, they understood each other on a level he didn't expect, but now they had been having a great alliance for years and Germany had grown to _really_ like him.

"You really need to wake up China, I will miss having you around," Germany said, patting on the unconscious nation's shoulder before trying to get up, but something told him to stay there, to not leave his side.   
And while he still felt the need to protect the zone by himself again, he listened to that something and stayed.

...

Truly fascinating was the fact that China woke up again, just in that night that was going over to the next day, a new day of hope.

Germany had fallen asleep, lightly resting his head and parts of his upper body on China's stomach, his arms put around his body, but still being careful with the back and the wound on it.

When China was awake enough to notice it next to the pain of the wound, he couldn't stop blushing. Germany looked like an innocent child, completely different from the strong leader he usually was. And the way he was wrapping his arm around him, sleeping with his head lying on China's body, he looked really, really cute.

China blushed even more, but it gave him some kind of safety, especially as he slowly reached out to put his hand on Germany's head first, petting through his kinda loosened hair.  
China didn't know why he was doing this at all, but the sigh of comfort that Germany made in his sleep was straight up adorable, and even a little appealing in another way.

China then put his arm over Germany's shoulders, holding him, basically embracing him. This was comfortable and totally fine to him, he was glad that he actually woke up to Germany sleeping here.  
He leaned back into the pillow, feeling tired again, as he suddenly heard the person sleeping there mumble "China, are you..." in his awake-but-still-kinda sleeping state.

China just had to smile, completely forgetting the tragedy that was still happening in Nanking, until he felt a sharp pain in his heart.  
"Ah... yes, I'm awake," he spoke out, not being able to suppress the sound of pain.  
"Oh my god," Germany whispered, the embarrassment was so extremely audible that it was almost scary, and he quickly got up, just after China put his arm off the German's shoulders.  
"Did I... hurt you?" he asked, a little red in his face.

"I would've just shoved you off if you did," China joked, making Germany frown amused.  
"You aren't even powerful enough for that right now."  
"Of course I am!" he exclaimed as loud as he could - it ended in a normal volume that you would say a sentence in - before raising his arms up to show him how he could move enough.

But only halfway, Germany leaned in and grabbed China's wrists, leaving the two in a position that their faces being close, their bodies being close, them staring at each other, and well, Germany holding up China's wrists slightly but still forceful enough.  
"It might hurt in your back if you do movements like that," Germany told him, loosing himself in the eyes of the person in front of him, who happened to experience just the same phenomenon.

"Germany, I..." China muttered, his eyes darting away nervously as he tried to gather the words for the thing that was spooking around in his head, "I want you to leave Nanking and get yourself into a safe place."  
Germany brought his and with that, China's hands down to the bed again, before he was able to say something at all.   
"No, I'm not leaving you alone now."  
"Ludwig, really, I'm going to be fine, you don't have to worry. I'll have a grip on this situation very soon, but _you_ can be hurt if you stay here."

The German stared, a bit perplex because of being called Ludwig by him, at his companion, that was still holding his hands back by then, and then he looked around in the room, listening to the noise that was made outside. It was completely silent inside the room, though, for a few moments, until he felt China's hands slip out of the grip and a shiver running down the nation's spine, as he suddenly started to sob violently.

"Please, I-I don't want you t-to see me like this," he muttered, covering his eyes with his hands now, before he sobbed even stronger.   
Germany didn't know what to do, but just watching China cry to himself wasn't an option either, so he instead put a hand on the place where China's leg was underneath the blanket.   
"Listen, don't worry about it. We all had those moments in our history," was the answer that had come into his mind to comfort the other man, "This will be over. It will all be over."

China didn't stop to cry, but this time, he leaned forwards and arrived with his head leaned against Germany's chest. He was still shaking and feeling weak, but especially when Germany's breath got calmer and more structured, he became a bit more calm too.

And no matter how unexpected it was, the arms wrapping around China made him lean further to the warmth and safety that this person was presenting to him.

They sat there like that for a really long time that day.

...

China wasn't looking like he was feeling better on the next day. His skin was just pale, and he was barely breathing, but at least he was awake after getting a bit more sleep in the night. Germany was just holding his hand while watching over him and talking to him. He didn't voice his worries yet, but he was pretty sure that China saw it in his glare.

"What are they doing to my capital?" the older nation whispered all of the sudden, interrupting the little tales they've been telling each other. Especially Germany was narrating those childhood stories that his brother Prussia has always read to him when he was younger.  
Germany's expression became even darker than it was before, and China put more pressure on his hand, "_Ludwig," _he said, "what are they doing to _my_ capital? I feel... wrecked. Even more than I felt yesterday."

"Well..." Germany started and sighed, "They are basically wrecking it. The horrible crimes are just continuing, but we are succeeding to mostly keep them out of the zone by now. Some grenades hit a few people in the zone, but overall, we didn't loose someone of those people yet, and I hope we will succeed further. Rabe and I talked a bit when you were resting, and he told me that he hopes for this whole stuff to be over soon. He's been calming the people down and motivating them to move on, while I'm with you here."

China nodded, and tried to take a deep breath, what he then seemed to abandon halfway through.  
"He deserves a lot recognition for the good deeds he's been doing for my folk here," he said and moved his free hand to his forehead as if he needed it to support his thinking.  
"I will gladly give that to him when I and my country survive this war. And the upcoming war."  
"The upcoming war?" Germany asked and raised an eyebrow, after nodding to the other thing China said to him.

But after a little moment, he realized what the older nation meant, especially with that special glare he was receiving.  
"Oh. Well... just... listen, don't get involved in that war. Your country is already suffering under that with the Japanese, so please listen to me and don't go to war in this conflict."

The brown eyes were filled with a sceptical expression and also a bit of worry too.  
"We need to do _something. _At least make them stop raping Nanking."   
"... Raping?"   
"What else would you call it? I just feel my body being torn into pieces on the inside. I can't see it, but they are probably doing just the same to this city. To my people."   
Germany nodded and looked away, not bringing himself to look at China while saying the next few sentences.   
"I understand. But I have a bad feeling about Hitler. I'm starting to dislike him. He didn't want to help you, you know? He sounded pretty rude and he stopped listening to me, even though I have more experience than him. He's also disrespecting my rights on the political things and is doing whatever he wants. I'm scared that he will take that to another level, doing something really bad without that I'm able to stop it. I don't want you to get involved so you won't suffer under my country, whatever happens. Don't you _understand?"_

China now looked surprised, surprised about all that honesty that Germany was showing him.  
He closed his eyes and leaned forward to the taller nation, putting his hands on the other man's cheeks, what guided Germany's attention back to his companion.

China smiled at him, weakly but enough, and he seemed genuinely gentle, looking up to the worried German.  
"It's okay. You've been trying to be good for so long. Some of your leaders just won't... go with you. We all have that moment in our history, am I right?" the Chinese said, quoting his German companion just by that, who cracked just a little, little smile and nodded.   
"To be honest, I regret some of the things leaders of mine did, things I couldn't stop. I really do. And maybe this will truly happen to you, too. But like you said, it will also end, so you and your people will be free from that tyranny again."

Germany took his time to look at China, before silently nodding again with a little sigh. He put one of his hands on China's cheek too, and if he didn't just hallucinate, he felt him lean into the touch just a little bit.   
He admired the older nation's smile, his face in general, letting his glare wander over to those lips, and Germany felt some kind of pressure on himself, gulping slightly before realizing what he just let happen. He quickly looked up again and saw China's eyes still focused on him, his cheeks now slightly pink.   
Germany felt like his face was burning and he shortly thought about stopping to touch China's cheek with that one hand, but he couldn't bring himself to actually do it.

"I'm sorry, I got a little carried away," the German fought out of his mouth, seeing how China raised his eyebrows. "It's... fine."   
The smaller nation closed his eyes and his companion felt a shiver running down his spine.   
_What is he doing?, _he thought, shivering a little.   
But China leaned forward nevertheless, slowly enough for Germany to go with it when he realized what he was going for.

But time to go for it wasn't there anymore, since in the next moment, they heard a loud knock at the door and got scared apart.   
The sudden jolt that went through his body caused China to groan in pain, just when John Rabe entered the room.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to Ludwig," he said in an apologizing tone, which was why China just nodded and Germany got up without any words. He turned towards Rabe and said "I'll come out to you in a minute" before nodding to the door to send him outside the room again.  
He nodded and went out, leaving Germany and China their privacy.

"I'm gonna go and talk to him, and then I'll be back. Alright?" the blonde asked his companion, who just laughed a little.  
"I'd like that, but you don't have to be around me all the time. I'll be fine by myself sometimes," China just answered and Germany shrugged with a subtle smile, "I still would like to be around you a lot anyways."


	3. Christmas

It had to come, that special day in the year that was now brutally overtaken by the fact that the massacre was still going on, so much miserable things going down with it.

It pretty much hurt Germany the most, since he had held onto the beautiful time that Christmas had always been for really long time, and now it was all drowned in the bad things that the Japanese soldiers were doing to this city.

Whenever he felt really miserable, he thought of the Christmas events. The smells, the decorations, Christmas eve, the songs that were happily sung by most of the folk, just the overall mood around those days. Around the whole December, actually. Those Christmas markets over the month were a light in dark times. Or at least to him, they were a light.

Everyone would be so happy when December started off, so they were able to open the first door on the Advent calendar. The first snow was warmly welcomed every year, and children were out playing in the cold since then.  
Hot chocolate was a wonderful treat during that month, and spiced cookies were still Germany's favourite cookies.  
While the children in his neighborhood lived through these wonderful moments with their whole family, Germany just celebrated with his brother, Prussia. Or sometimes with Italy, since they had become friends.

Germany remembered that when he was little, he used to love the Christmas songs that Prussia sang to him and he sang along everytime.  
He could still bring up two or three songs perfectly into his consciousness, so that probably was true.

But now was no time to sing Christmas songs, not even in his head.

This Christmas, he was standing at the borders of the safety zone, holding a gun in his hand that was aimed at every Japanese soldier that would come to close and become a threat to the safety. He was doing all this because China was still sleeping, and he wanted to lure himself away from him. He felt like he wasn't doing enough for the people by just staying around China.

It was Rabe though, who came up to Germany and placed a hand on his shoulder, making him flinch and almost drop the gun because he was so deep in his thoughts.

_"Ludwig, the organization prepared something in my house. For Christmas, you remember? I wanted to invite you over now. The Chinese people that are hiding at my house are celebrating with us. You could get Yao and we could eat and drink a little together. If you two would like to."_  
His voice was timid this day, and his eyes were layered with a sad glare. He seemed pale, and Germany didn't even want to ask. He probably had seen things... that no one would have wanted to see. Really.  
And that on Christmas.

Germany lowered his gun after checking if anyone was becoming a threat around his area, and he turned his head towards Rabe.  
_"I'd like to. I mean, it's Christmas. I think Yao will definitely say yes to it. I'll probably just have to help him while walking or even have to carry him because of the state his body still is in,"_ Germany told him after a short moment of thinking about the idea and China's physical abilities in general.

_"Just come when you can. You know where to go."_  
And with that, Rabe turned around and left, and the timid, quiet voice still stuck with Germany, even when he made his way to China a few minutes later, on his own and glad to be rid of the gun again.

...

The German knocked on the door, first gently, but then with a little more power. He heard the voice from inside, calling out a little "Come in," towards the door, and that was when Germany opened it and made his entrance.

"Oh Germany, didn't I tell you that you don't have to knock anymore? You open the door so gentle that it won't even scare me, not like I get scared off by others sometimes," the personification stated, smiling just a little as he fought himself up on his elbows and then into a normal sitting position.  
"I'd just prefer to knock nevertheless," Germany answered, still holding up his usual facial expression until he actually sat down next to China on the bed. There, his expression turned more friendly and happy, watching China smile widely at him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked him, putting a hand on the smaller nation's shoulder, "please tell me all of it, not like yesterday and the days before."  
China took one deep breath, his smile fading for some moment, before he collected himself and put a hand on the hand that was lying on his shoulder, spreading a welcome warmth through his body.

"I... I still feel weak and I don't know if I'll get over this... It's not only Nanking, it's Shanghai, it's them all, and I can feel the fights and massacres going on... but the intensity goes down, and that's good. I don't feel like the wound on my back isn't healing, I feel like it is and I'm happy about that too. I don't like being this weak. But you're with me, so everything is a little bit better."  
_That was honest, _Germany thought proudly, nodding before he got his hand back from China's shoulder and instead started to go forward with his body, embracing China in a hug.

He had become so thin.  
Even though Germany had given him food, the bloodshed was tiring his body out. And it was possible to feel it.  
With China returning the hug, Germany tilted his head a little so his mouth was at China's ear, and he thought about what to say, while just hugging him tightly in response to what he said. Germany was still avoiding the wound though, but he at least remembered the fact that the Chinese man's uniform was destroyed due to the fight he was in, being one of the soldiers.

"Rabe invited me and you to a little celebration of Christmas, do you want to go?" Germany whispered into China's ears as if it was any king of deep secret, watching him blush just a little bit on the cheeks, and putting him into a very perplex state.  
He couldn't have focused on the thing Germany said, not with that feeling that creeped into China's stomach when he had felt the blonde man whisper in his ear, feeling his breath really prominently all of the sudden. His ear was really sensitive, and there Germany was, just doing something like this.

China still felt something in his stomach go on and a shiver run down his spine whenever he felt Germany breath out on his skin there.  
"China, are you okay?"  
The same tone, the same closeness, and China felt the same reaction. But this time, however, he got himself together a little and tried to recall what Germany offered him.

Smiling happily, he answered, "Yes and yes. I'm okay and I'd love to go to Rabe's house and celebrate Christmas a little. Will you promise me to sing a little Christmas song for me though?"  
Oh yeah, Germany remembered that. Exactly. He had told China about the times Prussia and he had sung songs together, and now he had promised him to sing something to him when the time wouldn't be bad. Germany didn't know why he had agreed. He really didn't have any clue.

"Well, okay," Germany muttered, a low laugh shaking his body.  
China didn't understand why he was blushing about this shaking going through the taller man's body. He didn't understand his own body. Not at all anymore.  
But that aside, Germany got out of the hug and stared at China, who was just sitting there with flushed cheeks, and a perplex look in his eyes.  
Germany couldn't pull his eyes off of that image. He only did it with a little blush himself, catching himself staring at the attractive man that China was to him, especially with that kind of face.

"Uhm," he whispered almost inaudible, before taking of his uniform jacket. "You could get too cold outside with your wound open like that on the back. I mean, there's a bandage around it, but please take my jacket when we go outside and towards Rabe's house."  
He handed the thing to China, and he took it without a word. Only after a few moment of nervously gulping, he smiled again and muttered an honest "Thank you". He pushed the blanket off a bit and threw the jacket over his shoulders, putting his arms through, but before he could try anything else than that, Germany leaned forward, straightened the jacket and closed it bit by bit to be sure that everything would be fine and able to keep him from getting cold.

Now feeling actually a lot more warm and secure, China turned around on the bed so that he could place his feet down on the ground. Hesitantly, he did exactly that, gulping a little while closing his eyes.  
He hadn't used his legs those past days, even past weeks already, and he seriously didn't know if he was actually able to.

China put his hand at the end of the bed and pushed himself off a little, trying to stand up, but just as he wanted to stand freely, his legs trembled and gave in immediately.  
Germany catched him and then proceeded to have his arm around the Chinese man, helping him with standing on his own two legs.

"It's fine, you haven't used them in a longer time. Your body is already so strong," Germany said, just directly after seeing the guilt and shame in China's eyes when it came to him needing support by the taller man.

He was close to just picking him up and carrying him, but already needing support made him feel ashamed, so Germany gave him as much help as he could give him like this.

China took a deep breath and lifted his right leg, shaking all through his body in that moment, but he took the step forward and hurried up, hastily keeping up with his left leg.

"Slow down, Liebling," Germany said, blushing at the nickname he had just given China all of the sudden.  
_Liebling... Darling... Now, where did that come from?, _he asked himself, but China was just staring at him with a perplex look and a little blush, obviously not knowing what he just called him, but the sound of it must've given the meaning away a bit.  
"Liebling?" he tried to repeat, and his eyes widened as if he had a conclusion sparkling in his mind all of the sudden.

"D-Don't worry about it, let's just go further. Do you want me to carry you, maybe?" Germany offered, trying to lure away from the tension between them that existed there a few moments ago. He had been thinking that he wouldn't just ask China that, but it still was better than the "topic" from before.  
China himself took a deep breath and shared a pained expression with the outworld before he slightly nodded, "Well, could you maybe give me a ride outside? I think I just need some fresh air for my body to realize that I am actually alive."

The joking tone was hiding his embarrassment, and even though Germany knew about himself that he usually was pretty clueless, this was a thing he heard out easily.  
"Alright, then."  
The blonde man positioned himself in front of China and he leaned down a little, already putting his hands on the smaller man's legs. He stepped forward and sat down on Germany's back, holding himself with his arms hanging around the taller man's throat, his hands at his chest.

Germany got a good hold and straightened up, pushing China up a little on his back so he could hold him more safely.  
China tried to fight against his body and mind that were definitely wanting to make him lean onto Germany's shoulder completely instead of holding himself up. His body felt warm, what was something Germany had felt too, and actually made him feel well.

His heart was racing for no actual reason, and after some steps through the hospital's halls, he felt China relaxing and lean against him with his head at his shoulder, nuzzling it gently.  
The German's breath hitched, and he let himself take a small moment to registrate that action by his smaller companion.

But before he could really thing about it, he opened the door to the outside and carried China outside, who then looked up and inspected the people he could see in the zone.  
"You and the organization saved all of those?" he asked, tears in his eyes and a big smile on his lips.  
"We're doing our best to make them even more safe. It's not working that well but I think Rabe told me he's working out a pact with the Japanese military," Germany said, stating those facts like a robot, when suddenly China kissed the side of neck, long, gentle, and still passionate, before whispering some words in a different language, and Germany was sure that it was Chinese, _"Xiè xiè nǐ,_ _qīn'ài de." _

It sounded so smooth and clean. So genuine. So caring.  
Germany blushed, harder than he already did when the Chinese man had kissed his neck. He didn't know what China had said, but the sound of it made his heart race. _Did my voice sound the same when I called him Liebling?_

"You can let me down now, I'll walk the rest with you," he said, his mouth still at Germany's neck.  
"O-Okay," he fought out, full of emotion compared to his voice from a moment before, and he let the smaller man down to the ground, making sure that he was still supporting him while standing and walking.  
He registrated China taking a deep breath, and then a long sigh, his muscles relaxing just a little.  
"The Japanese soldiers seem to take a break right now," he said, putting a hand to his heart, now managing to walk a little better. He still had to calculate every step, but with Germany's help, he got into a bit of a healthy, slow rhythm when it came to this walking.

When the people of the zone saw them together, and especially, when they recognized China, their country's personification, many of them stood up and walked closer, faces of happiness everywhere.  
Some of them hugged him, others just talked to him, and the smile on his face was gentle, while answering the questions of his people.

_"Are you feeling better? We saw you when you were brought in..." _  
China glanced over to Germany, who just watched it happening since he couldn't understand Chinese, confused as he saw the glance.  
"_Ludwig helped me through a lot. He cared about my wounds and helped me so that I could get out of the hospital today. I think... I'm just coming through it. You don't have to worry anymore," _he said, and Germany's eyes widened when he heard his name, now with all the closer people staring at him. The reassuring smile that China gave him told him that he hadn't told them negative stuff, though.

_"Why doesn't he talk with us?" _one child asked, and China petted his head shortly, saying, "_He's German, and he didn't learn Chinese before he came here, so he can't understand. And... we have to go now. We have a meeting with John Rabe and the rest of the organization now. Keep up your hope."_  
They said goodbye and partly let go off China, so that he could turn around to Germany and give him the signal that they could go on.  
He nodded slightly, supporting him with walking again, still wondering what they had just talked about him.

...

It looked beautiful inside Rabe's house.

There was a Christmas tree, standing right there, decorated delightfully. On the big table, there was food, not much, but enough to look festive, some wine glasses standing around a still unopened bottle of actual wine.  
The room they would eat in was amazingly decorated anyways. Or actually, it was still really "normal", but for what Germany had seen lately, in this time of terror, this was truly an amazing sight.

China was looking around with awe too, amazed by just the same things Germany had been struck by.  
"This is awesome," he said out loud, looking to the other people at the table. He greeted them, being greeted back almost immediately, before he sat down with a bit of Germany's help.

To sum it up, the evening was pretty cozy, and even though China had sometimes tensed in pain, he had drunk a bit (actually, a lot) of the wine, and was becoming relaxed due to slowly being a little drunk.  
The food was delicious, and they couldn't have needed anything else in that moment. Sure, Germany's mind went back to the other citizens over and over again. His mind also went to his own country over and over again, wondering what was probably happening while he was here. He just hoped that Hitler wasn't doing anything bad back there.

Rabe was tired though, especially since he didn't sleep that well in those last nights, trying his best to just protect the people of this city, or writing down the things that happened here down to keep them for the world after, to keep the Japanese from hiding the truth of what had happened here.

And so somewhere deeper in the night, the feast was over. China had gotten drunk, and even Germany was feeling the alcohol. He hadn't drunken anything alcoholic in a long time, so it kinda blew him off like that. The aftermath of the war had put him into some kind of stress, he hadn't even gotten to drink beer that much, if he was honest.

Rabe and the other members of the organization went to bed or did other stuff, and Germany had taken China with him, almost _dragging_ him outside the cozy room, the cozy house in general, out into the cold.  
"You promised me a song," China said, loosing the fight against a little yawn that escape from his mouth, "I'm still waiting for it."  
He stared over at the tall figure that was supporting him while walking, or was supposed to do that, because he then just stopped moving and instead looked down to the smaller man.  
"Let's get you back into the hospital so that I can treat your wound on the back. I can sing to you while doing that."

China agreed, and so they found themselves in that little hospital room, both sitting in the bed, China in front of Germany, the older nation taking the jacket Germany gave him and the upper part of his wrecked uniform off, giving it to the German himself, so that he could work with the stab wound.

"You didn't tell me who stabbed you like that," the blonde man said, cleaning the wound while hearing China suck in the air.  
"That doesn't matter," he hissed through gritted teeth, trying to relax despite the pain.  
Germany closed his eyes and reached forward with the free hand, laying it down onto one of China's cramped one's that were clenching the sheets of the bed. He put pressure on it and with that, embraced the other nation's hand.

"I'm sorry, the fabric of my jacket must have caused that the wound is freshening up again. That's why it hurts more now, I usually did this while you had been unconscious or I now do it when you're sleeping and the doctor gave you narcotics. Now it's an emergency to clean this up and you'll have to get through it once," he told his companion in a calm voice, caressing the side of the smaller hand with his thumb.

China turned around a little with a silent nod.  
That silence faded away though, because China had an idea:  
"Sing me a song, so I can concentrate on it. Oh and- I'd love to hear you sing in German. Your voice seemed to smooth today, when you said that one non-English word that I assumed to be German."  
Silence, again. Germany was thinking about the idea; it wasn't bad, but he was afraid that his singing voice might not be that good.

"I don't know if my singing is good," he then said with all honesty, but China turned around to him, looking him right into the eyes.  
"Please. Just trust me."  
Germany returned the stare into the eyes, gulping heavily a few times before nodding. China turned back around again, and he seemed to take a deep breath as preparation for that, what was going to come.  
Germany started to sing one of the Christmas songs he knew, his voice smooth and just a little bit higher and more relaxed than what everyone was used to.

"_Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht..."_  
China felt his wound burn again when Germany started to clean it again, but his whole mind was focused on the beautiful tone in Germany's voice.  
"_Alles schläft, einsam wacht..." _  
It was beautiful overall, and he seemed to be at such an ease to sing those longer notes, the German sounding gentle while singing.  
"_Nur das traute hochheilige Paar..."_  
China didn't know if his heart raced due to the pain that was shooting through him like thunder or if it was Germany's singing, he really couldn't tell anymore.  
"_Holder Knabe im lockigen Haar..." _  
When his voice would go higher, it struck China in another way. It sounded delicate in a higher tone, and it sent goosebumps down his back, what immediately embarrassed him, because Germany's hands were just right there at his back.  
_"Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh..." _  
The warm hands of the German were already at the end of the wound, and the pain died away there a little bit, but he was still singing what seemed to be the last line of the song he had chosen.  
"_Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh."_  
He sung that last bit especially long, sending chills down China's spine again. He couldn't help it.

Quickly, Germany's hands disappeared from his skin and he put out a bandage that he could get around China's body to guard the wound for the future. He managed to put it on with almost no pain for the smaller man, and so fast, that the silence between them only lasted for a few moments after the singing was stopped.  
"That's it, we're done," Germany pointed out, attempting to get off the bed that China was still sitting on, trying to understand what had just happened.

"Your singing is very beautiful," China said, turning around and watching the blonde man stand up, "You totally had me into it. Thank you."  
A nod from him was all China got, and it dissatisfied him. He wanted to hear more of that voice, now that he had gotten an actual view on it.  
There was a faint blush on Germany's cheeks, and he walked a step forwards to stand closer to the bed again.

Leaning down, he kept eye contact with China, who was still perplex. He didn't realize what was happening, not until he felt Germany's lips on his forehead, gently, almost like a whisper in the wind.  
China looked up at Germany who stepped back after a few moments, walking towards the door that would lead him outside the room.  
But just before he arrived at the door, he turned around to China again.  
"The song actually is a bit longer than what you heard..."  
The tone of Germany's voice, asking, inviting, it all gave away what he was trying to say.

China just smiled, "Then let me hear the rest."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Xiè xiè nǐ, qīn'ài de - Thank you, my love
> 
> "Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht" is a German Christmas song that I really really love, and I think it does have an English version, but I actually think the German version is better.


	4. Farewell

_"It's getting better,"_ Rabe said to Germany, sitting down on a chair in the office room they've been in. It was shortly after Christmas, and Germany was happy to hear that.   
_"Really? Did you manage to speak with the Japanese and handle out a pact?"_ he asked, feeling weird since he hasn't been speaking German for a longer time, always being around China those last days, and with him, he obviously only spoke English.

_"Yes. All the Chinese people that are in the safety zone now need to register themselves in a list. The japenese military guaranteed me that the registered people won't be in danger anymore. The safety zone then will be deactivated and we can guard them while they register themselves to be sure that everything goes right. But..."_ Rabe started happily, until he got to the rest of his words that he said to Germany. He had seen how happy the German was around China now, how well they got along, and he himself didn't want to leave Nanking. He had been living here for such a long time, this really was his home. He was almost afraid that Nanking would feel more like his home than Berlin will.

Germany's facial expression showed exactly the same pattern that Rabe's did. First, he was really relaxed and happy, but at the "but" he frowned unsure.  
_"But...?"_  
_"We need to go back to Germany after that. I mean, all the non native-Chinese people need to leave China then. So we'd have to let the safety of these people go into the hands of the Japanese soldiers."_  
Germany now didn't frown anymore, but he raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened.

_"Leave the safety of Nanking's people in the hands of those soldiers that destroyed this city and __**took**__ their safety? Can we do that?"_ he asked worried, staring right into Rabe's eyes to be sure that he was serious about this deal.

_"They __**swore**__ that they won't harm anyone who got themselves registered. I'm worrying too, believe me. They are still stealing people from us and killing them or using them for other filthy things. But if we don't leave, what will happen then? We have no other way,"_ John Rabe answered to Germany, who was still, even after he said that, worrying about this deal.   
He shook his head and started tapping on the table they were sitting at. He leaned his head against his free palm and put his elbow down on the table to be able to lean into the palm for sure support of his head.  
_"You have to know, that Hitler won't help us if the news of more massacre in Nanking that the Japanese did, despite our deal, will arrive to us in Germany. We can literally do nothing if we leave,"_ he insisted, not stopping to tap on the surface of the table.

Rabe sighed and then shook his head like Germany did a moment ago, _"But the danger will also live on if we don't go with the deal and don't trust the Japanese, Ludwig. We have to make a choice and I hope you will decide to leave with me."_  
Germany gulped and still looked at John Rabe, before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to make his decision without losing too much time.  
_I really don't want to say goodbye to China... but maybe going home isn't a bad idea. I can still come back here really fast, if they break the deal, I can break my side too, _he thought to himself, before opening his eyes and nodding hesitantly.  
_"Alright. I will leave, too, then. But I need to talk to China first."_

_"You still have time, my friend. We only have to leave in a few weeks from now. First, the registrations. Your precious Yao needs to registrate himself too, would you tell him that?"_ Rabe answered, showing his happiness about the fact that Germany was going with the deal he handled out, and also playfully winking at the "precious Yao" part, catching the German off-guard.  
_"Y-Yeah. I'll do that. Now, excuse me, it was nice to talk to you, but I really need some sleep right now. It's gotten late fast today,"_ he fought out of his mouth, actually wondering about the fact that he was able to speak in functioning sentences after this little surprise by Rabe.  
_"Yes, we'll see each other later, at least at the registrations,"_ the other man said, still sitting in his chair, while Germany got up and nodded one last time before leaving the room.

...

He was just trying to find the room in the hospital that China was in to ask him if he could stay with him during the night, since he felt troubled and unsure, but by now, the excuse that China still needed someone around him to care about him wasn't working anymore. And then, right from where he was heading, he saw a lean and smaller figure coming right towards him.

"There you are, Ludwig," China spoke in a calm and peaceful voice, making Germany sigh in relief, since he now found him and didn't have to look around the hospital for a long time to find China. But then, in the next moment, he wondered why he was walking around. He had truly gotten better, since he obviously could walk around again, but he was still sentenced staying in bed as much as he could.   
"I figured I needed a little walk outside the room, but I didn't dare to go outside alone, not after the things I think I remember seeing when I came back here, when you picked me up. But now that you're here... Would you go with me? I really just need fresh air."

Germany was a bit overwhelmed, especially when the other nation came really close to him and then stopped walking, smiling right at his face. But nevertheless, he got himself together and just said "Yes", before positioning himself on China's side, actually reaching out with his hand by reflex.  
There was a second thought, especially when China stared at the offered hand for a moment, and Germany blushed a little before considering to take it back, when suddenly, the older nation actually took his hand and gently intervened their fingers in a smooth movement.

China let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and actually leaned a little against Germany.  
"I already kinda feel comforted. Thank you... really. Especially for leaving clothes of yours in the room so that I was able to change. They're really comfortable."  
_Oh, right, _Germany remembered, stealing a little glare of China in his clothes, and the height difference also made a difference in the clothing size, causing China to look like he was wearing oversized clothings. He only had his own shoes, since that was better for him to actually walk than wearing Germany's shoes would be.  
"You're welcome. I'm glad you're feeling comfortable in them. It was just... your uniform looked pretty ruined, especially thanks to the big wound on your back."

They were just standing there for another moment, holding hands, leaning against each other, and staring into the darkness that was facing them in this hospital floor right now.   
"Alright, let's get out of here to breathe some fresh air, like you wanted," Germany then said and began to walk, China directly keeping up with the pace.

"I needed to tell you something important anyways," the blonde nation began, admiring the warmth at his hand and also the one that he still felt coming from the rest of his companions body, and the warmth in his face and around his racing heart. _Everything _right there was so warm, even though it was at the end of December.

Yeah, right, they were almost in a new year now, almost 1938 and to start this off on a lighter note, with the end of the Rape of Nanking, would really just be an amazing thing. Christmas hasn't been bad either, since they had their little celebration and Germany had sung to China on that evening. That had been good, but this thing ending would be even better. Though, since then, he's been out with Germany a lot, so this wasn't exactly new. He even carried him around on Christmas and he had kissed China on the forehead, but here, it was just them and the silent darkness.

"Ah yes, you told me you'd speak with Rabe. So something came out of it?"  
"Yeah... He made a pact with the Japanese," the German muttered, still unsatisfied with the part that they'd have to leave Nanking for it.  
China turned his head to look at Germany, directly into his eyes, since he was also staring at the smaller nation while walking to the end of the hospital so that they could get out.  
"...W-Will we be safe? Soon?"

"You mostly will," the blonde started, finally finding the entrance of the hospital by looking to the way instead of to China for a moment, then when he safely headed into the right direction, he continued:  
"So, Rabe talked to the Japanese soldiers, and it's like this: All of the Chinese citizens in the safety zone, including you, need to register themselves. Those who are registered, are safe immediately, that's promised by the soldiers. Rabe and I will personally watch over the registrations to be sure that everything goes right. Though, I think I told you that people still are being taken away. It should become less in the next weeks then."

China's eyes were filled with tears all of the sudden, and his smile widened, and that's how Germany was sure that those were tears of pure joy.  
But as happy as he himself was, too, the other part of this deal was still bothering him.  
"That's... That's just truly amazing! Even if there are still some casualties, the worst things are over for my folk... But you don't look... happy? Is there something else I need to know?"  
The younger nation sighed, and then felt the cold, fresh air at his face, as they left the hospital.  
China shivered and proceeded to hold Germany's hand even stronger and actually cuddle against him to snatch some body warmth.  
"Aiyaah, it got kinda cold," he complained quietly, when suddenly Germany turned China around to face him, scaring him just a little with this.

He looked the really perplex and surprised Chinese man right into his eyes and put a hand on his cheek.  
"Yao, I... Rabe, he told me that everyone who is not a Chinese person living here in Nanking needs to leave back to their country some weeks after the registrations. That means... I'll have to leave then, too. That's it. That's why I'm not really happy with it."  
"Oh... Ludwig..." China sighed, putting his hand on the hand that was located on his cheek, and he still smiled, but now it was a rather sad smile, actually.

"I... I don't know what to say right now. Just... Promise me, that you'll visit me again as soon as you can? I just feel like... I've gotten even closer to you... and I... oh.."  
Tears were coming from the Chinese personification's eyes, and the smile disappeared, before he leaned forward and embraced Germany in a hug, sobbing a little, but wiping his tears away quickly.   
Germany returned the hug as he felt air blow around their bodies, and he pressed China closer to himself, not wanting for him to get cold.   
"I promise I will visit you as soon as I can. I promise. But if I can't, will you come to me?"   
"Of course I will," China whispered into Germany's clothes, holding him tight, but at least calming down a little.   
"I'm just so thankful... to you, to Rabe, to everyone in your organization that helped saving my people... and now you have to leave before I can praise you. Please... tell me if you ever need anything. And tell Rabe that he can contact us too. Tell them all. Please?"  
Germany nodded, and since they were really close to each other, China felt that nod and relaxed just a little bit again, the happiness about their safety preventing him from breaking down completely.

...

After the registrations, the day had come.  
The date was the 23rd of February 1938. A day Germany had feared for the last weeks.

Rabe had his stuff together, and he stood there, ready to leave, and Germany right next to him. While the others of the organization that worked for the safety zone had already left to the ship that would bring them home, Rabe and Germany both needed more time to say goodbye.   
Especially since China was standing there, wearing his regular clothes again, trying to keep back tears while looking at Germany. He stood in front of all those people of Nanking that were saved, and he smiled.

"Mister John Rabe, I thank you with all my heart for the services that you've committed to this folk. You're always welcome here, when this is finally over and there is no deal to go with anymore. Please be sure that we will do everything to make you feel fine back in Germany, if you need anything, just contact us. You're a saint, our savior. I speak for the whole surviving population of Nanking when I say that we will forever honor you here," China announced, his voice just shivering a little, but only audible if you would really concentrate on it while he was talking.   
The people behind him applauded Rabe, and he had tears in his eyes, so did Germany, feeling proud of a man from his country being praised like this.

Then, Rabe said a few words about being speechless and grateful for their praise and their support, before he turned around to Germany to tell him that he still had some time, so he could say goodbye to China alone.  
With Rabe leaving, Germany turned towards the Chinese man, who was still smiling, but his mouth was twitching just a little.   
He walked towards him, the people behind China swarming out a little, but still staying close to their personification.

"Don't cry, Yao," he whispered towards him when he arrived, and he leaned forward, caressing his cheek with one hand again, like he had done it so often lately.   
"I am not crying," he protested, but then laughed, leaving some of the tears free. "...I'm sorry."   
"It's okay, I just... There is something I still need to do."   
Before China was able to say anything to that remark, Germany leaned forward with his head and lowered it a little, his heart racing, a blush on his face, but this time he speeded it up so that the older nation could still realize what happened, but they weren't going to be interrupted this time.

And then, Germany finally kissed China, gently but passionately at the same time, and mostly, desperate and longing.   
China returned the kiss immediately, closing his eyes and putting his hands at Germany's cheeks to pull his face, and him in general, even closer, deepening the kiss all by himself.  
Germany put an arm around the lean nation, before gently pushing him against the wall he was standing in front of, just by walking a little forwards.

Now leaning with the back on the wall, China felt like he had enough hold and began to become even more passionate, grabbing strongly at Germany's face, even though they already were really close.  
The German's right leg was between China's, and his left leg was already touching the wall again, that's how close they were.  
Gasping for air, they broke the kiss, and while Germany looked up to his "friend"'s eyes, China still gazed at the other's lips and traced one of his finger over them, feeling the softness that he had just kissed.

"I love you," China said without hesitation in a breathy voice, looking up now too.  
Germany couldn't resist a smile and nodded, "I love you too."  
And then, China pulled his face closer again, kissing him for a second time.


	5. Captive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay uhm so I'll write my own version of the actions of Hetalia characters in WW2 now, and there is a change right at the beginning; China and Germany did meet during WW2 in Hetalia, but not in this, because the sources I have tell me that Germans and Chinese, despite being in opposite teams, never really fought against each other during that time. What you will also see is my take on the aftermath of WW2 for Germany, his relations to Hitler, and on and on. It'll all be a little more serious, but I started this fanfiction with the Rape of Nanking, this whole thing is pretty serious. Aaaaaanyways that's what I wanted to say, now enjoy the chapter ^^

However, they hadn't met again during World War Two due to both of them minding their own problems, and China was happy about that. He knew that Germany fought alongside Japan, but he had never seen his reaction to the Chinese pledging themselves to the Allies.  
He just hoped Germany got that it was just to be at least a little bit safe from the Japanese, who had still been in a war against them at that time. The best option would still be that Germany just didn't get the news of this at all, but that wasn't likely to be the case.

After Nazi-Germany surrendered, the horrible news of the Holocaust had been going around the world, leaving everyone shook. China was shocked too, and he wished he could have been with Germany at that time, since it must have been horrible for him too. Hitler must have done something to make him powerless, or he just didn't tell him. Something like that, China was sure that the Germany he knows and loves wouldn't even consider such things as actually humanely possible, he would have never let that go through if he had a word in this horror.

Anyways, with Japan surrendering too, China was able to relax a little, since their war found it's end through that too. The tension that they personally felt in Nanking, being under the power of the soldiers, was gone and they could finally start rebuilding their homes and hopes.

Though, two years later, 1947, China was about to go to Germany to see, well, Germany. He now hadn't seen him in a while, and while he had heard from Rabe again and helped him to survive back in Berlin, he also didn't really hear from Germany except for the things the personifications that he had fought with were saying.   
Now, that he's been free from war for two years, he felt safe again, and he wanted to geniunly thank Germany another time.   
But that visit was turned down by America as soon as he heard about China's plan, and that did disappoint the older nation, but he had stayed home.

Another time he considered to go to Germany was in 1950, when he heard the news about John Rabe's death. He felt miserable about it and thought that, maybe, they had done too little for someone that did so much, China felt like honoring him a lot, before he would be forgotten by folks that weren't right there.   
He just wanted to talk to Germany, hug him, kiss him, simply comfort him, since he would probably be really sad too, and now he had also been in "captivity" so long. Rabe was like his best friend, they really seemed so close, and even though Germany had been in the same country as Rabe, they hadn't met just as long as China and them hadn't met.   
His visit maybe would have helped him a little, cheer him up.

But that was another visit being turned down by America, and Russia was slowly getting sceptical about all those things China was doing or wanting to do with Germany.   
It really wasn't going good for him, like, at all.

The third more meaningful time, after being turned down over and over again, was in 1961, since China had gotten the news of the Berlin Wall being planned and ready to be built. He had organized everything back in Nanking, and even in other destroyed cities, it was working well.   
So he just decided to leave to Germany and search for him, not expecting for him to be...   
Well...  
In actual _captivity_. Like he had thought about before, he thought of his captivity in a way that he simply wasn't allowed out of the country.

Yeah, that was a great shock, when he had just been walking around the place where they started to build the Berlin Wall with a hood thrown over his head and parts of his face, being spotted by no one else than America nevertheless, who, of course, screamed down to him to ask what he was doing there. China gave up his cover; he already knew anyways now.   
"Looking for Germany! Do you know where he is and can I talk to him?"  
China gave his everything to yell loud enough for America to hear it, and it seemingly worked, since he looked interested and then jumped down, landing right next to China.

"This is the third time you're actually planning a visit, but now you even come unannounced. What is it with you two? Haven't you been enemies in the recent war?"   
China stared at America, searching for a good explanation to give him, but he just settled with the good old "We have our reasons and we are actually friends" that flew into his mind.   
_Friends, of course, _China mocked himself on the inside, smiling a little, but getting thrown off-guard by the expression America was giving him.

"I understand, but, dude... He's not in a good place right now," he said, playing with his fingers before staring at China with repulsion.  
But the older nation just raised his eyebrows, his glare just showing how unsatisfied he was with that answer, and he laughed mockingly.  
"America, listen. I want to see him. Now. I haven't seen him since 1938, after he left Nanking. He was there for me in _my_ worst days, and I am going to visit him in _his_," he said, sounding serious and actually just the littlest bit threatening, just to make sure that he would be taken for granted.

As China wanted to take a step forward, America stretched his hand out and wanted to push him away slowly again, but China reacted quickly and grabbed his wrist before he even got close enough to his chest to actually perform a push.  
There was a huge ass tension between America and China while they just stared at each other, or more like, tried to stare the other one down.  
"What are you doing? Just show him where Germany is right now, he will understand what we're saying."

Both of them flinched violently, turning around to the person that was sitting on the higher parts of the wall that were already there.  
"Good idea, Russia," America muttered, glaring at China for the last time, before he got his hand out of that forceful grip.   
The Chinese man stared at the American with anger and confusion, not quite understanding why they were doing this in such a secretive manner.   
Russia jumped down to them and stretched a hand out towards China.   
Hesitantly, he took the offered hand and was then guided through the area, fast enough for him to not be able to comprehend what exactly was happening and where they were going.

And when they suddenly stood in front of a grey, high building, China frowned immediately.   
"What is this..." he whispered to himself, but Russia, who let go off his hand as he had fulfilled his goal of traveling fast through the area with China, and America, who was standing next to him with his hands at his own hips, inspecting the building as if he hadn't seen it before, must've catched up on it, because they turned around to China and stared at him then.

"A prison."  
Russia had just wanted to say it, but America had already done that, not even blinking an eye.   
"A... prison?" China repeated, and his breath hitched a little. "You put him in this actual prison?"   
"We needed to secure that there wouldn't be any problems anymore," Russia threw in, though he sounded not that convinced himself.   
China gulped, unsure if he even wanted to see his Germany, chained up in a cold room.

His scar started itching all if the sudden, and he took a deep breath.   
_He didn't run away from the horrors either. Come on. _  
And that's when he went in with America and Russia.

...

It was just as horrifying as he imagined; Germany sat there, his head turned to the ground with his hands chained to the wall. At least he could put them down on his own body and they weren't tied at his back, that would've been worse. Something long and dirty had become out of his usual, well-cared about, short and blonde hair, and it sent shivers down China's spine to see him with those relaxed muscles, but not relaxed in a way of actually feeling comfortable, no, he just looked like he had, after all this time, given up once and for all.

He was broken in pieces, and China just wanted to break into the prison cell, wanted to break through the glass of it, but he knew that it was some special glass. Almost impossible to destroy and the other person can neither hear or see anyone outside the cell.   
Desperate for doing anything to make Germany feel better, China put a hand at the glass, leaning against it with his forehead a moment later too.

"Don't you think you should let him... Free? Look at Germany, that's not the person we knew, it's not him anymore. Do you really want that? And now, on top of that, you're also just building a wall through _this man's country!"_ he said, later actually rather yelled, slowly turning around to the other two country personifications again, but just with his head a little.   
"The government decided on those things. We can't interfere into that, you know that we can't just do it. You've been around for longer than we are," America replied to the things China said in his rage, but as the older nation had to realize in a calmer moment, the American was right.

"Actually," Russia started, his voice a little more quiet than before, "the government wants the Germans to feel powerless to keep them in control. The Wall won't do, they said, so they wanted us to take him, their power, their country personification... to, yes, to make them feel powerless because they fear that they would just try to fight again. The government also told us that we could do whatever we want with him, escort him out of the country completely, kill him, and do the same thing again when he would come back to life, or just start full on torturing him, and I feel like they kind of expected us to... hurt him... badly."

China stared at Russia, his last rage failing to hold itself, and he instead felt like he was close to having a mental breakdown. His eyes wandered away from the two, and his breath was shaking, his trouble audible for the outworld.   
The hand that he was holding at the glass was just sliding down and then taken back by China himself as he turned around to America and Russia fully, not wanting to see Germany like this anymore when he couldn't do anything.

"Yeah, dude's right. We didn't want to hurt Germany, we've been enemies, of course, we fought against each other, but I wouldn't say that the disturbing things, and I think you know which I am talking about, were his fault. In fact, he begged for me to end the war and the horrors that Hitler forced upon the world, because he couldn't do it anymore. I don't know what happened, but he seemed traumatized, and whenever the war is mentioned, he gets all weird and stuff. That's why you weren't supposed to visit him. We want to keep him safe and hidden, so that the government doesn't realize that he's basically still okay, and the same thing's with his brother. You visiting could have a bad reaction to all of our plans. Trust us, we will watch over him," America was saying then, as China closed his eyes and fought back tears, and he was just done as his eyes opened up again, eyeing America and Russia, still tears in his eyes since nothing had helped.   
Actually, the first few tears fell down his cheek as America had been going on with his speaking, China had just not realized that he was already crying.

Germany had talked about being afraid of what was destined to come.   
China remembered it clearly, and it messed with him, guilt flooding through his whole body.   
"I...", he started, playing around with his fingers as he didn't know what to say.

Their glares were more gentle than he had thought they could ever be, and especially Russia seemed caring, the worry in his eyes strongly visible.   
"Thank you. But... c-can y-you tell him that I... love him? That I'll be... waiting for him?" the older nation asked, wiping away upcoming tears, and he didn't care that he just told them that he loved Germany; this peticular moment made them trustworthy, the way they talked and just everything. "I want him to know that I was here and that I will come back, like I promised, when the time is right and it's not a danger to him anymore."

"Of course," Russia said, looking at America, who looked back and then nodded.   
"Don't worry, China. There will be a better time. It will all be over one day."  
Perplex, China stared at America who looked back at him with a knowing smile.


	6. Reunion

1989.

He hasn't been able to see Germany for 28 years now, and thus, he hadn't been in the position to really interact with him since 1938.

Usually, he wouldn't see that as even mattering in his long history, full with every misery that could get to you one day or another. But those 51 years without a real interaction hurt, and he was longing for it, he truly was. He was longing for Germany, for his soft skin, his beautiful voice and his touches, the gentle glares that he had given China back then in Nanking.

China was happy about the letters he was getting from Russia and America, in which they would tell him about Germany's state, how he was doing, what was happening, anything like that. It wasn't what he longed for, but it also was enough for him to feel a little more relaxed, hearing about how we was slowly getting better, fighting against anger and guilt, and also major pain, but they had Germany and Prussia see each other again in like, 1969 or something, at least that's what China was told and it sounded very real, and their hug was said to be long and almost heartbreaking. Germany, for the first time in which America and Russia had known him, showed that he was, in fact, the younger brother.

He had clawed at Prussia, panicking like a little child that was afraid of a nightmare they had.   
And it was just that. He was afraid of the nightmare that his country had just been through - the nightmare caused by people of the same country, though.   
China tried to recall on what exactly he had read, and once he had gotten the first few words, it flew back into his mind. Quickly, he jumped off the couch and ran off into his bedroom, which had like a whole desk full with letters and similar stuff. He looked around, and then China had found the letter from Prussia's and Germany's reunion again, his eyes focusing on the words once again, reading them carefully.

_"... And he started, "I didn't want this, Gilbert, I didn't want this, please tell me that it all was just in my head, please... please tell me that nothing of the images in my head happened", and he went on and on, Russia and I didn't know how to react, but Prussia just hugged him tighter and let both himself and Germany sink to the ground, so that he could slightly rock him in his arms, humming a melody we couldn't identify. It was so intimate and intense that we felt like we didn't belong into that scene. Though, we still were so connected to it, that it was basically traumatizing. I can still recall every single word that he said, and it was a whole lot of words, and according to Russia's quietness and him just sitting there for something that feels like years, I think I can say that he is the same amount of traumatized. Because you know, Germany hasn't talked that much, only when we told him that you were there. Then, he had flipped out and asked how you were, if everything was okay, and on and on, you know what he said exactly, I told you in a letter. But in that peticular moment with his brother, he wouldn't stop talking... no, begging. _

_Prussia had looked up to us, and we didn't know what his glare was telling us. It wasn't hostile, that's for sure, what actually rather surprised us, after all. It was more like... he was thanking us? Prussia had probably thought he'd see his brother in a much worse condition than what he was at in the end, and we had prevented that from happening. _  
_We didn't know what Germany was saying, but he was whispering against his brother's body, his head leaned on the older one's shoulder so that we both couldn't see anything of his face anymore, just hear the faint whispering. And that was when Prussia had turned around again to look down at his little brother, and I need to say it again, this time Germany really seemed just little and lost, and he put a hand to the back of Germany's head to stroke his hair gently. "It's okay, Ludwig," Prussia had said, his voice steady and confident even though he looked just as wrecked as Germany did, "you tried to help them, remember? Hitler had you locked away for a long time when you weren't fighting in the war at that moment. You were barely free, you had no possibilities to do much but you did what you could. And he made you pay for it, too. You let me go and save some with plans you've made after my tries didn't work, because Hitler didn't know about my existence that well. And now he's dead, okay? Now listen to me. You need to keep your head up. For me. For your friends. For your people."_

_Russia and I have been shocked, to say the least. Hitler had Germany locked away when he wasn't fighting with us? Explained why he was getting leaner and leaner over the war, the dark circles under his eyes and his lack of will power to keep himself alive, you know, he let himself get shot way more as time went on. It worried the shit outta Japan and Italy, but he wouldn't talk about it. Then that, 'and he made you pay for it, too' - what had Hitler done to him?_

_But Germany didn't panic any further. He just looked up again, wiped his tears away and stared his brother in the eyes, fierce, strong._  
_"You're... You're right.. I should take the chance I've been given to be good for my people again..."_  
_And then, suddenly, Germany had turned around to us, and we immediately tensed. Russia even opened his mouth, but no words left it. Did Germany even know that we heard everything? How would he react? He hadn't really looked at us during his captivity, not once, _  
_But he just put on a small smile. _  
_"Russia, America, thank you.. I just... I'm sorry I didn't talk to you or even looked at you. I still thought I was being locked away under Hitler's command. I just needed to snap out of it... Could you maybe write China a letter for me? I haven't seen him for so long... I want to make sure that he's okay and communicate with him. And... Italy and Japan?"_

_We both were so relieved, hearing those words. And to his question, we told him about the letters we are already sending all the time, and then promised to talk to the other two for him. He seemed happy, not really that happy, but happy in comparison to before, and Prussia looked at him with unending pride in his eyes. His little brother was getting up from the pieces that he collapsed into, even though he still sounded fragile and unsure. It was as if Prussia had already lived through his little brother falling to pieces - and then I remembered Holy Rome, and I realized, that's what I meant. Just that._

_Prussia has lost his little brother once, and he wouldn't loose him again. _  
_Sadly, we couldn't let them stay longer, or else it could have been the end for our little game of hide and seek. So we had them say goodbye to each other with a long, desperate hug, and I took Germany, Russia took Prussia, but Germany left with a smile this time, and he seemed way more talkative than before, since he started to talk to me. "So you heard what my brother said about Hitler punishing me or locking me away in general, right? I hope it wasn't too weird for you to hear that," he had said and when I nodded on the first part, he continued before I could answer something to the second one, "I wanted to keep it a secret so that no one would have to think about it other than myself. Especially not Italy or Japan, or China. Especially especially not Italy, he shouldn't know about the horrors that Hitler brought upon me. So please, don't tell anyone about what you've heard a moment ago, I beg you, Alfred."_

_I kinda feel bad now that I'm telling you about it after agreeing to keeping the sectret, but I'm not gonna dive into the information he had given me after I asked. _

_Russia and I are excited on how this whole thing will go on, though. We have never gotten that close to Germany, you know? This is a really interesting time for us."_

China put the letter down again, a sad smile forming on his lips. He remembered feeling bad for a longer time, hearing about Germany's behavior on that day. But in the end, he was receiving new letters about him getting more talkative and less depressed-looking.  
Actually, one day, there was a letter at his door, which China had opened quickly, just to find a different handwriting. This wasn't Russia's, nor was it America's, that meant it could only be...

Germany's.

He remembered his first reaction well enough. As he first saw the handwriting and came to the conclusion that it must be Germany's, he had to sit down for a few moments before actually being able to read it without breaking down just with the first word.   
This was the closest he could get to an actual conversation, and it messed with him on a good note.

"_My beloved Yao, _

_Please tell me you're doing well. America and Russia don't let me hear much of the information they have about your well-being, but I just really want to know. I hope everything in your country settled down, now that the Axis Powers had lost, including Japan on that note. I don't know. I was here in Germany, captive of my own leader, I only heard about Hiroshima and Nagasaki by now, and the fact that my side lost. Let me tell you a thing, I wanted to win the war, of course, but when Hitler wanted to kill himself due to us loosing, it was way too satisfying to see. There would be an end to the horrible things that were happening._

_But now, it's 1974, and my country is still cut into two pieces. I understood doing it at first, but... it's been 13 years since they've divided Germany. I don't think any German wants a war anymore. We just want to be free... It's not that America and Russia in peticular treat me badly, but my people are dying at this ugly wall. Is that justice? _  
_Anyways, that aside, I'm really happy with how things are turning out. The DDR has some problems, but the BRD got itself into a better position from what I've heard. I mean, it would be better if they would be one again, but __I need to know that my people somehow will get through. Except for those that truly supported Hitler and drove the... the... horrible things into the level of horror that they were at in the end. _  
_I don't know what you know from the letters, but I didn't know about most of it until it was already happening for some time, because I walked in on Hitler talking about it. He really had tried his everything to have me out of the picture. _

_Anyways. That's not important anymore. I don't have that much time for writing anymore, but please, reply as soon as you can. They allowed me to read this peticular letter from you. I will be able to imagine your voice to what you write, so I'll finally hear it again... I miss you so much. So, so much. I just want you by my side, want you to be alright at any time. But I can't come to you, and you're not allowed to come to me. _

_I love you, Yao, I really do, even after so many years of not seeing you. I hope... you're still thinking the same after all this tiring time._

_-Ludwig._"

Tears stung in his eyes while he was rereading this letter, and he didn't know if he cried again because it was so heart-warming for him, or if it broke his heart, just as he didn't know when it was the first time he read it.

But before he could fully lose himself in his emotions, there was a noise at his front door.  
He gasped, sucking in the air quickly before sprinting towards that door.  
China didn't know why, he just almost ran to that point, he just felt that urge rushing through his veins - but when he opened the door with all his might, there was no one.

But there was one thing.  
A little letter, barely even that, maybe only a note.  
Frowning, the Chinese man leaned down and picked up the piece of paper, getting up with his body again. But he didn't wait for himself to get in, he immediately read it.

_"Russia here. The Wall falls. You need to come. You can see him."_

You can see him.  
You can see... him.  
You can...

China rushed inside his house, catching his jacket as he left the note on his table, soon to be alone in the house, since the old nation ran out of the house again in a matter of a few minutes, fastening everything, including his breath (well, he couldn't do anything about it, but it matched with his general hurry).

Arriving in Berlin, since he has teleported quickly, he heard the people. He heard them all, shouting, but sheeting loudly. The wall already fell for some parts, and he tried to take a deep breath, turning around desperately.  
"Where... where..."  
"China! Over here!" someone yelled in his direction, catching his attention immediately.

There was America, smiling a little, but he looked exhausted. Exhausted and relieved.  
China collected himself, not wanting to look dazzled in front of the other nation; and when he succeeded in that, he rushed towards his past ally.

"Where is Germany?" he had asked as he arrived, and America nodded towards a spot in the middle of the crowd.

Peacefully, he stood there, hugging his brother.  
China's heart skipped a beat and he cracked a smile, wanted or not. There he was, his Germany, his Ludwig, and excluding his lean figure, long chaotic hair and dirt spread over some parts of his body, he seemed fine. No injuries, no shivering, he seemed steady on his feet. His brother did, too - and them embracing each other seemed like the only calm, peaceful moment inside this whole chaos of joy.

"Why don't you walk to him? He'll be so happy to see you," America told China, looking down at the smaller nation in confusion.  
"I don't think I should interrupt now."  
But right in that moment, they left each other's arms, still smiling and nodding at each other as they talked.  
Then, Prussia's glare darted towards America and China, and also Russia, who had just come to the other two.  
He patted Germany on the shoulder and pointed at them, and the blood rushed in China's body, his breath hitching and his heart racing from one moment to the other.

As Germany looked around, his eyes widened and filled up with tears.  
"Yao?" he mouthed obviously, before smiling widely and walking towards them, fast and direct, the shock replaced with determination and happiness.   
China also got into movement as he walked closer, and as even that seemed to slow to get over the distance, they both started to run at each other.  
No one knew how they didn't run into anyone, but they just ran at each other, opening their arms wide.

The impact was more gentle than anyone thought it could be, with all the running they've done up to the point.  
But Germany had slowed down before they met, embracing the older nation in his arms, using the power of their running to lift his boyfriend up in the air, holding him safely in his arms.

They pulled the other one so close, while their eyes were also closed to just enjoy the moment.   
"Finally, I can hug you again. I can feel you again... Hear your heart beat..." Germany muttered into his ear, and it was the only thing he was truly focusing next to the gentle but passionate touch all around his body.   
"I love you, Yao, I love you so much. I'm so glad you're here on this special day."   
The dark haired nation sighed and put his hand at the back of the German's head, keeping him even closer, softening in the touch. He had never let himself relax so much as he did in this peticular moment, never ever, but now it was happening, and he wasn't even ashamed.   
"I wanted to come sooner, I... I really wanted to," China whispered, his mouth directly at the blonde's ear, almost touching the skin, "They told me it was safer to not visit you, but now I can finally be there, and I'm so sorry... for leaving you behind."   
"You've never left me behind. Not one second," Germany muttered, his head sinking down on China's shoulder to bury his face in the other nation's clothes, picking up on his scent.

Slowly, Germany put down the smaller man, smiling at him as his brother walked up to the two.  
The blonde German didn't let that irritate him at all, he just put a warm hand on China's cheek, who rose his hand up to hold his boyfriend's hand there.  
"Now, kiss!" Prussia exclaimed, making both Germany and China blush madly, before he started to laugh loudly.

But he didn't expect them to actually do it. Well, Germany didn't expect the Chinese man to do it as well. But said man tried to make himself bigger, as much as he was able to, and eventually succeeded to lock his lips with Germany in a rough kiss that, on the other side, was still swamped with gentle, genuine feels. He had waited for this moment for such a long time, pulling the German's down a little to get even more out of it, since the blonde man kissed back immediately, with _almost_ the same amount of fought-back longing, if not the actual same amount.

Pulling back, China took a deep breath before opening his eyes, not paying attention to everyone around them. Germany opened his eyes too, and he quietly stared into his lover's ones with a dreamy smile.   
Prussia clapped, as America and Russia said something, something China neither understood at all nor wanted to understand. This was their moment.

Only theirs.

"Will you be mine, Ludwig?" Yao whispered, reaching up with his hands to cup his loved one's cheeks.   
Germany smiled at the question, wider than before, as he nodded shortly.   
"Of course I will, Yao."


	7. The End

They sat together, smiling at each other, with a glass wine in their hands, in the comfortable living room of China's house.

It was the day before the first world meeting after the Day of German Unity - that meant, that Germany, as personification, would finally attend again. Though, they choose to both celebrate it and just simply talk about their expectations; so Germany stayed with China, the plan being that they could go there together since he was a little (more like, a lot) nervous about it.

Germany had actually just arrived, and China did directly sit down with him and gave him the wine, before smiling at him and greeting him with "I'm glad you're here".

The alcohol tasted heavy on his tongue, as Germany breathed in deeply, preparing the sentence he could return to the greeting.   
"I'm glad to see you. It's been a long time in which I couldn't see you, it makes me want to never leave your side again. But... how are you feeling nowadays? You know, after..." he said in the end out of all the things he had in his head, but he let the sentence stay unfinished, unsure if it was such a good idea to ask this so early into the conversation.

China looked at him and smiled slightly, as if a light pain was bothering him again, but he sighed and relaxed.   
"I still have nightmares. Really bad nightmares. There is that scar on my back now, I mean I already have some others and I've got some more in the world war itself, but that one is _huge_, and it's just as big of a scar in my mental health. Compared to the years directly after all of that stuff happened, I'm pretty fine. And you, are you fine now?" Yao answered, seeming really relaxed, but not actually being relaxed. The thought of what had happened in Nanking was still so unbelievably awful for the Chinese man.

He took a sip of his wine, waiting for the German's answer.   
"I'm sorry... I wish I could have been there for you in those years. And I... I'm okay. I just feel, well, guilty. And exhausted, really exhausted. But I'm free, now that the country is united again and I truly appreciate that feeling. Especially because I can see you again," was what came from Germany, who then almost drank all of the wine he had left in his glass at once. This talk was somewhere between a challenge and a relief for the younger nation, China knew that, he could feel it, so he closed his eyes, leaned more into the couch they were sitting on, and played around with the glass in his hand, wanting to keep this going this way.

"I also wished to have you here with me at that time, but I came through, so you don't have to worry. Having you at my side now is a really good thing, though. I'm extremely happy about it. Also, I'm sure that you'll be able to make it through, you're really strong, like, _really_ strong. If you need my help, then please ask me nevertheless. Though, I can say that my nightmares will stay away for sure when we sleep together this night," China said, glaring into his glass, not realizing what he just said - or what Germany understood of that what the Chinese man said.

He blushed furiously, taking a shaking breath. "Sleeping... together?" Germany muttered and lowered his head, but still looked at China. He didn't really have anything against the idea of spending some time of the night with his boyfriend... like that. But he really wanted to be in his best shape on the next day, though maybe... maybe this would relax his tension a little.

The glare on China was raging, raging with desire and the resulting shame from that desire. Germany suddenly wanted to touch him, wanted to know how he sounded if he could please him, since the only sounds he really knew were the sounds of pain back when he had cleaned his wound on the back.

Yao shivered, feeling that glare on him, as he suddenly realized what his sentence had sounded like, and what Germany must've been thinking in those last moments.

"Oh, god, Ludwig, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- wait... Ludwig?" he exclaimed, blushing deep red while he hoped that his statement didn't disturb Germany too much, but the moment he had actually looked at the German, he felt the longing and tension - not an uncomfortable tension, just... sexual, yes, sexual tension - coming from his glare.

Ludwig blinked, flinched and adapted to the red that was on his boyfriend's cheeks. He had interpreted it wrong and found pleasure and similar feelings in it, making his heart race and blood rush.

Slowly, Germany stood up from the couch, and China lowered his glare again.  
"I didn't want to say something embarrassing, sorry..."  
"I... I'd like to... you know..." he whispered, almost inaudible, putting down his glass on the table to walk over to the seat that his lover was sitting in.   
He was now standing in front of the smaller man, who was extremely confused and ashamed because of all this. But he was intrigued by it, too - just the idea in his head was interesting.

Germany played around with his hands before he leaned down, placing one of his legs between China's, so that he could lean on the seat with that, and only that was the moment in which China actually realized that he had basically already spread his legs for the German to let him do with him whatever he wanted.

A deep breath, and their lips met in a hot, passionate kiss. They both still had a little bit of fear left, not knowing if the other truly wanted this, but they both did. And that was becoming clear when Germany buried his hands in China's hair, and China's hands wandered down the blonde man's shoulders, went to his arms, and then his back where they settled down.

He was pushing him closer, deepening the kiss, and relaxing to the hands in his hair. Especially when Germany started to pull at his hair just the littlest bit, he felt a wave of lust burn up in his veins and he let it happen, letting little gasp get lost in the kisses as Germany didn't let go of his hair, seemingly getting that China was feeling pleasure by his actions.

They broke the kiss, panting, still staring into each other's eyes as they held the other close, as close as they could without having to lose eye contact.   
"You're sure...?" China started, but let the question hang in the air unfinished, not sure how to voice his thoughts. "I'm absolutely sure. How about you?" Germany asked back, tugging a little harder at China's hair.   
Obviously, this got him a husky, clearly aroused sounding, gasp,

"I...," China started, and Germany immediately let go of his hair, shame reddening his face. The way China had needed this moment to respond and still wasn't getting anything out made Germany paranoid that he had just been harassing him or something.  
But China just needed to collect himself to not sound way too aroused by just this little kissing session and tugging on his hair.  
His face flushed red as he gripped Germany's arm, trapping him from going away.

"I feels _really_ good so far. That's my 'problem', that's why I can't answer like, immediately. Please, we can go on. I just wanted your consent again," China muttered, not daring to throw a glare into the direction of Germany's face, but rather to the place where he was holding his arm in a firm grip.

Germany didn't say anything about that, what made China glad because he was pretty sure that he had sounded absolutely stupid.  
Instead, he smiled.  
"So I can touch you," he whispered, and his tone was something very special, "make you feel _good _with my hands, explore your body as much as you allow me to explore. I'll touch you in places that'll make you drown in pleasure."

The smaller man shook in his seat, his eyes wandering everywhere but Germany now. He shortly nodded, placing a hand on his mouth as he felt his shame rise. Well, after the wave of pleasure that had shot through him while Germany had talked.  
"Do you want another position before I'll do what I promised?"  
Confused, China looked up and observed the look on the German's face.  
"There is something I'd like to do..."

...

China felt the warm hands of his lover on his skin, touching it under the shirt that was still covering him. Germany was kissing him on the neck, now having the Chinese man on his lap, just the way he had requested. This way, China could touch Germany more easily, and Germany could reach him better, too.

He felt really hot, as if every bit of his skin started burning after the blonde man had touched it with his gentleness. Almost in some kind of trance, he had leaned his forehead against Germany's, caressing his sides, but not touching his actual skin yet.

Everything was fine, it was almost just... comfortable and calming.   
If it wasn't for the moment in which Germany's fingers brushed the big scar on his back.

China tensed immediately and lifted his head up, all kinds of _wrong _signals being sent to his brain about this touch. It wasn't fear, no it wasn't - it felt more like... electric shots of pleasure.

Ludwig, realizing this, let go and instead put his hands on the other's cheeks to calm him down. His eyes were still widened, and he really needed to tell Germany that it wasn't fear, but also, he was truly ashamed about this reaction - so he just closed his eyes for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Yao," he muttered and kissed him on the forehead, "I didn't want to-"   
"It's alright, Ludwig," China replied, "you can... you can touch it. Actually..."

He leaned out of the hands that were holding his face, gripped the end of his shirt and took it off all together. With that, he exposed his scars to the other nation, if mostly the ones on his front.   
"Can... I?" China asked, grabbing Germany's shirt now, "I'd like to see yours too..."  
"Of course," Germany answered, almost not getting his glare off the scars that "painted" over China's otherwise perfect skin, showing the story of his life as a personification, as he realized that, the lower he followed them with his eyes, the more old and healed they were.

"The first one is almost as old as I am," China told Germany, showing that he totally had seen where the blonde's glare had been, and he talked while he slowly took his boyfriend's shirt off, teasing him a little bit with his fingertips, touching his skin the slightest bit.   
"I really don't have a clue what I did, I think I probably got hurt on my own," he said, throwing the shirt to his before kissing Germany on the lips, feeling him kiss back as he wrapped an arm around the smaller male.

China backed off with his face when he felt the arm around himself, touching the big scar on his back now.  
He shivered and tensed just a little bit, but decided to go on with his plan that he had just put together.

He leaned down with his head, pressing a light kiss to Germany's neck before going down a little more, looking at the scar right there, a big one going from the end of his throat, right down his chest until it then turned on his body basically going with his rips at the end, on the way even going along the place where his heart is.   
"Tell me your story..." China whispered and placed a kiss on the scar's beginning, feeling Germany tense, gasping a little.   
"It's... the one I've gotten from the division into East and West Germany," he told him in a fragile voice, while China let go of that scar and looked up at him.   
"I'm sorry. That's probably still an uncomfortable thing-"   
"Don't worry, it's alright. It's just... my brother took over and personified the East. I think otherwise it would've torn me apart. East and West were their own countries, and it needed to countries to personify them. I do like the scar, though," the German said, muttering the last part, and it was barely audible. He touched it lightly with a finger, at the place where the scar went over his heart.

"I basically cracked open. It put me in a lot of pain, but now I'm... glad. It's my vulnerability, a chance I've searched for a long time. The other scars that I have are some that this body had before my consciousness came into it. You know, I wasn't... born with this body. Or maybe another me was, but they... died. World War One didn't give me scars, emotional ones maybe, but no physical ones. But this one... I have connections to this, even if they aren't that pleasant. And I have a connection to your big one, too," he explained, watching China's reaction with his curious, blue eyes while he slightly put some pressure on the fingers that were at his scar on the back.

The Chinese man turned his head down in response, shivering nevertheless.   
"I treated it for the first days. I was with you the whole time until the wound wasn't that bad anymore. And at least mentally, you were there when I was cracked open by my scars of the World War. We're connected in a special way."

"Holy shit-" China gasped uncontrolled, a blush raging on his cheeks for that outburst when Germany had pushed his fingers against the sensitive area of his body with a _lot_ of pressure this time.   
"We... We are connected... you're right..." he muttered, digging his nails deeper into Germany's skin, at the place where _his scar_ was, and he felt him shiver.   
"I love you, Ludwig," China gasped, feeling the blonde's fingers leave their place, going deeper down to the middle of his scar.

"_Oh~" _China suddenly moaned, immediately feeling extremely ashamed for what he had just reacted like. He put a hand over his mouth, trying to keep the - out of his view, embarrassing - moans in.   
He leaned his forehead against Germany's, letting himself sink into the relaxing atmosphere that came from their interaction. He was aroused by what Germany was doing, but he liked the way they were going, and it relaxed him.

"I love you too, Yao," the German told him in the exact same moment in which he took ahold of his hand that was keeping his mouth shut, smiling a little as he guided it away.  
China let him to that and smiled too, not knowing how else he could react.   
"Don't be ashamed of anything. You're so beautiful.."

...

_You're so beautiful, _China heard in his head again as he walked to the meeting room with Germany at his side. He felt safe, and even though he had just a little pain from what they did in the night, he felt not only save, but also amazing in general.

It all kinda came together, when they opened the door and felt the glares of everyone else in the room.

Germany had changed. The whole world had changed. It's been decades after all.   
But somehow, it was like it had been before. It felt... familiar.

...  
...

_The End. _


End file.
